What If

I just realized what I’m craving: nude shots. Maybe even a step further and fetish shots. Some hardcore stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I love the pinup photography, but there’s this unabashedly unapologetic slut inside me that wants to be photographed being whipped or choked or fucked. How about even peeing?

I am up at 12 :09 waiting to be told I can pee. I text Him at 8:45 that I had to pee. He said, “It can wait”. Ok so now it’s 12:12 and I sent two videos and He’s quiet. And I’m drinking a little which is making me more relaxed. And have to pee more

Do you think He fell asleep and I’ll have to hold this piss till He wakes? You know what? I’ll do it. I can’t give up. I don’t feel this way about another breathing person on this planet. Is that fucked up? Maybe. Maybe I’m lost in the most dreamlike ocean of “what if”.

What if my life would let me sneak out just long enough to go have a few nights with Him. To taste Him and feel Him. To hear Him breathe. Touch His skin.

What if He would let me.

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