“Been fucking anyone? Playing?”, He asked. I have known this man for two years in March. Every single thing I have done sexually since that moment has been shared with Him. I so wanted to say, “would I fuck anyone without telling you…without SHOWING you”? But I held my tongue.
I have been keeping my distance. Staying quiet. Gathering my strength and stirring my magick cauldron. Every slut has a bit of the witch in her.
I made a decision that every fucking thing I had been doing was wrong. I was a walking mistake with Him. No girl, slut, submissive or otherwise wants to be that. Not for long anyway. So something had to be done.
I had tried to make something really hot happen for Valentine’s Day for Him. I contacted my lovely black friend and asked if he and his friend could take some pix of me tied up. Damn. They both were busy and couldn’t accommodate…but I got their imaginations going. One of them said they had handcuffs. Oh. Yes. Now that sounds like fun.
These two guys have a very dear place in my heart and pussy. I had been with both of them the summer before. I walked up into their attic while one of them lifted my little black dress above my ass as they followed me up the stairs. Without any panties on they had easy access to use me as they wanted.
The feeling of being fucked by one of them from behind, dress all contorted around my midsection, tits out, while I sucked the other guy’s hard black cock…I was in heaven. They spoke to each other about me as if I weren’t even there, and in many ways I wasn’t. My body felt every thrust and my mouth tasted every drop of pre-cum, yet my mind was in a place I have no reference for. I was just happy. Fuck, I was ecstatic.
Sadly, that was one of my worst moments with Him. When I went on camera, I had my back to the camera while I was sucking the first guy’s cock, the connection kept cutting out on my phone and I never checked to make certain He could see. More than anything or any mistake I wish I could fix with Him….it’s that one. That moment was such an amazingly free fulfilling moment for me. I wish I could go back and make it be all perfection. Shared with Him perfectly. He deserved to be part of that. Without Him it never would have happened. Truthfully, without Him I would never have known and experienced any of this. He showed me who I was…what I feel and need and thrive on. I owe Him everything.
That’s why I wake thinking of ways to make Him happy. And just like He said, “actually, its not for you to “keep” me happy…its about having to offer happiness”. So a little break was also to find the blue bird of happiness that still sings inside. Funny how the happiest I’ve felt was talking to Him: )