This journey started almost two years ago now. “You just don’t want to get caught”, He said. That. That was the biggest fish hook that’s ever been oh-so-gently, oh-so- intently, ooooh-so-erotically, but oh-so-forever put into my slut mouth. I got a comment from a Fet Life friend (Fetlife.com.) who said that if he didn’t know better he would have thought I was a religious convert. That I spoke as if I were kneeling at an alter praying to my God, when speaking of Him. I suppose, as un-PC as that is, even amongst the “open-minded” Fet crowd, it is truth. I do feel that way.
When I was a little girl, I imagined God or Santa Claus (the bringer of gifts for ‘good girls’ that seemed right up there with God) watching over me; knowing everything about me; able to tell what was really in my thoughts and feelings and what made me do what I do; protecting me from even myself; caring about me as if I were this precious creation made for their pleasure; and the center and heart of my love and devotion. Yup, that was me then. This is me now.
I don’t even know why I started this blog. Perhaps it’s just another avenue to explore and share what I have been through. A place to put my thoughts so that I can look myself at what is happening within me and to me. And if I had my druthers, I’d be able to write on here like a child writes Santa Claus or kneels at the foot of her bed and prays, pleading for things that are in the deepest recesses of her heart to come true. There’s a saying, “from my mouth to God’s ears (I’m rather partial to Goddess, too)”….I hope with the wonder of a child that wishes do come true.